You might be a SEXY mom if...Chapter 3
You might be a SEXY mom if...
you have showered today.
you don't have spit up or poo on you. This is actually a miraculous achievement to be celebrated.
Justin Timberlake...or JT as I like to call him...is top on your Amazon music app. You are, in fact, "bringing sexy back."
you are confident in your body...with your stretch marks, lumpy bits, scars, dark undereye circles, wrinkles, and all.
the kid is off to school or the baby is down for a nap.
no one is currently relying on you for survival.
This is actually quite difficult for me to write about. To feel sexy is more than about my body, it's also about my mind and emotions. All three must align for me to feel the confidence that sexiness asks of me. My husband rejoices when the aligning of these stars occurs.
I'm in a Facebook group with other women, discussing sex and God and our bodies. I'll post a link to the devotional ebook that we are discussing here. I think that all of us, women, can relate to the insecurities that come with having a body. We should be proud of our lumps and wrinkles and scars but we struggle to see our beauty. At least I do. Every day. I find it empowering to share my struggles in a safe space with other women struggling with their body. No body shaming only body uplifting. We need more of this. More sacred spaces to post our true feelings without fear of judgment or weakness.
Growing up, my body was shameful. At least that is what the unspoken syllabus of my family and church taught. Women do not speak of their bodies. Women do not pass gas. Cramps are not painful. Women do not change clothes together. Women are skinny. Women do not eat whole pizzas. Women do not lead men. Women do not teach men. I was so tired of hearing what women should not do. I'm sure you could also add to this list.
I want my daughter to love her body and not be ashamed of it. I want her to respect and care for her body. I want her to not fear talking with me about her body.
At seven years old, we gave my son a book called, " It's Not the Stork!." So far, it has been the best thing we have done to open conversation with him about his body. We frequently sit down, as a family, and take turns reading out of the book together. We laugh at the silliness of our bodies. There are so many fart references in this book that make it perfect for a boy. Now, when he has questions about his body or mine ( so many questions now that there is a baby in the house) he will refer to the book first then come to me or his dad if the book doesn't answer his question. It's fabulous, terrifying, and embarrassing. When your son asks, "Can you make ice cream for us?" in reference to my milk producing breasts, we can't help but laugh. When he had questions about how his baby sister was made, we had serious, truthful conversation. Kate Ott's book, Sex and Faith, has also been a tremendous resource for us and I wish I had read it when my son was first born.
But back to being a SEXY mom...
You are a SEXY mom. I am a SEXY mom. Our strength through child birth, our resilience through heartache, our ability to make a meal from beans, rice, and that apple rotting in the back of the fridge makes us SEXY. The unicorn stripes on our thighs, the red veins on our stomach, and the crows feet around our eyes are SEXY. Don't let anyone tell you any different. We are bringing sexy back in abundance.
Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle. Your neck is like an ivory tower. Your eyes are pools in Heshbon, by the gate of Bath-rabbim. Your nose is like a tower of Lebanon, overlooking Damascus. Your head crowns you like Carmel, and your flowing locks are like purple; a king is held captive in the tresses.
-Song of Solomon 7: 3-5
You know I instantly thought of this passage of scripture for this topic.
P.S. This is me. Feeling sexy with my curls. Had my hair done in a salon for the first time in 10 months. It's amazing how someone else washing your hair and styling it can boost your confidence. I highly recommend the head massage. No salon experience is complete without it.